I’ve Won Far Too Much To Lose Now
Posted in Motivation on 18. Dec, 2009
I’m sorry this blog is coming so late, but it’s been a ROUGH morning.
There are moments when I let all the negativity, the incessant desires, the loud mouths of those around me drown me within. The weights of the world press down so deeply into my shoulders that I’m certain The Big Show is standing on top of me. Sometimes, it feels as if I fight an unending battle just to take a breath without feeling guilty about it. I can’t sleep in late one (read: this) morning without my boss calling me with a crisis. I can’t sit at my desk and compose myself without receiving a text from a relative reminding me to send money. I can’t join Facebook without having a man from my past who is now married asking for an address to send a gift.
It’s hard to remain optimistic when naysayers keep popping your balloons. Your faith within yourself starts to diminish. Every good in your life is overshadowed by the bad. The critiques and comments are louder than the compliments and praises. You feel about as worthless as a Mexican quarter.
It seems as if I’ve found myself in a well of despair. I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper. I claw my way toward the surface, and with each foothold I surpass, it seems as if another ten are added. That circle of light continues to grow smaller, and I fight the desire to just release myself and let everything overtake me. This battle is futile.
At THAT moment is when I must reach in and snatch myself by the collar. I have to remind myself that I have overcome far too much to lose now. God didn’t bring me over each mountain in my life to succumb to a foothill.
2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.
I will not, shall not, cannot lose. You will not, shall not, cannot break me. Your disdain for, your needs from, your unimpressibleness with, your disregard of will not, shall not, cannot do me any harm.
People, events, ideas should hold only one purpose in your life, and that is to help you grow positively. Uplift me, enhance me. If you’re detracting from me, you shouldn’t be here! Shame on me for allowing you in, but kudos to me for closing the door in your face. If you aren’t a better person from when that person entered your life, when you began that job, when you allowed that situation to become an usual circumstance, you have to LET IT GO.
There are far too many surmounted obstacles in your past to hesitate to drive forward into your future. No need to look to your side. Just go forward to that light. And if there’s anyone or anything pulling at your legs instead of uplifting you, use it as a foothold and leave it behind you.
5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
sigh, I will have to comment when i’m in a better disposition. All i can really do right now is sigh.
You my friend, are a writer. Enjoyed this post.
I agree!! She is an EXCELLENT writer!
Thank you both!
Thanks for posting this. I was feeling more than a little down in the dumps this morning as I reflected on my year that barely was. It helps to be reminded to keep fighting for me.
This is the space in which I’d usually write an uplifting word or two…but it is happily unnecessary. I know you have the strength to grab your collar and pull yourself out of anything. You could probably grab a few other folks’ collar at the same time for that matter. And even though it’s not needed, you know I’ll always keep an eye on you…should you ever need a push.
Psalm 27 is one of my favorites. Not much else to say, you’ve said it all. I had a similar sentiment yesterday on my blog about letting go. Have a good weekend.
*Passes collection plate* I’m glad that you’re not letting the negative energy of others, or difficult circumstances, get the best of you. You have so much to offer and do so much good that I’d hate to see that corrupted or diminished. You know how to keep pushing when things get hard, and you know that you have the support of many who care deeply for you.