When that gun goes off…
Posted in Pretty Girl BS on 20. Nov, 2009
I respect relationships. If you are in a CONFIRMED committed relationship, I’m the last female you have to worry about. I don’t need the karma nor most importantly, do I want a man who would step out so easily. Loyalty is important to me so there is nothing attractive about a man who has none.
But if you’re not in a relationship…
On your mark…
Dating is a competition for both men & women. Those of you who think opposite are single, I bet. You can sit on your laurels and wait for him/her to notice you; you can leave your house day after day looking like someone who doesn’t own a mirror; you can hope he sees the gem buried beneath your drudgery. You can do all those things. Me, though? I’ve never seen anything productive from being a wallflower. I see what I want, and I will go after it. And I don’t compete fairly.
Have Tunnel Vision
I couldn’t care less about what other females he’s dating or are clamoring for his attention. They make no heedway. Runners don’t look back until they cross the finish line. They don’t even acknowledge the other runners’ presence. That’s how I view dating. My focus is on my goal, not my supposed competition.
Be On Your A-Game
I don’t suffer through these fitness classes weekly to walk around in a muumuu. Men are visual. I dress to my body’s advantage. Also, for me, I like men who enjoy intellectual stimulation. So I make sure he knows that he has a conversationalist on his hands. Now, I’m not saying to dress like a VH1 reality chick or wear your degrees on your chest, but you definitely need to showcase your positives.
Be The Effin’ Best
I’m second to none. Anyone who thinks I am is obviously delusional. I believe utterly, indisputably that I’m the best for him. He’ll be doing himself a favor by swinging my way. I have and can do what any other female is offering. Even my fingernails are ringing with confidence. You want him? Bring your vanity.
DISCLAIMER: Don’t become who you’re not for a man. Don’t change who you are. Just amplify it. If he doesn’t want you as the person you are when he’s not around, he does not deserve your time.
Make Him Pursue
It’s pretty simple. I compete, but I don’t chase. The amount of interest I’m showing him should be multiplied in reverse. If he’s not competing for you, you’ve already lost.
Let’s be serious. It’s highly unlikely that someone will capture your attention that hasn’t also captured others’. Now let’s be honest. One doesn’t want what others do not. It’s why married men are successful at whoredom. You may hate that dating is a game, but it is. So come prepared to win because if I’m your competition…
LOL Have a good weekend, people.
Well, this blog answers one question I’ve been asking myself lately! I dont have a man because I am not willing to compete. I absolutely hate competition…ugh! I always seem to come out the loser.
*pondering this*…
You avoid competition by not leaving your house. We’re going to work on that.
“I’ve never seen anything productive from being a wallflower…” I’m told it works for “crushes”.
Ha!
Ok, just kidding. This is really good advice though. Especially the policy of amplifying but not chasing. Because…ladies you may not realize it, but confidence is just as sexy to us as is it is to you.
If you’re looking good and truly believe you are the shit…well…chances are, so will we.
I don’t know what you have against crushes. You’ve had a few.
Great advice.
But I currently am non-plussed with the Y-chromosome carrier species, so I will stay in my house.
I will, however, continue to suffer through fitness classes because I’m trying to get to a size 2, and because I like how my body looks when it’s in dancer shape.
As usual – good stuff Reina. “The amount of interest I’m showing him should be multiplied in reverse.” I think it would be safe to say that there is a point where interest can be multiplied too much. Overly-interested could = stalker-status.
“I’m second to none. Anyone who thinks I am is obviously delusional.”
Hilarious!
Not just dating, but relationships as a whole are a competition. No matter the stage, there’s always going to be someone jockeying for your spot. So the implementation of the “A game” is never-ending.
“Those of you who think opposite are single, I bet.”
Ether! But not entirely untrue. Otherwise, I agree with everything but the last point. TOO MANY women seem to believe they live in a Disney movie where some King/Ogre is going to come sweep them off their feet just because they’re around. The BEST married couples that I know are ones where the woman played an ACTIVE role in pursuing the relationship. Not the mainly passive one that women are so inclined to take.
To relate it to your metaphor, even tho you arent about chasing a competitor, you might be chasing greatness, or chasing time, and you might not beat it if all you’re worried about is another runner’s lane.
Folks fail when they hate b/c they’re too focused on what others are doing when they should be, instead, working on how they can improve who they are and what they have to offer. You dropped more one-liners than Fabolous in this one. Great post….as usual.
Great post!
A woman has to be agressive nowadays. If not, she’s setting herself up for failure. Most men like some aggression in a woman. I agree with you. It’s not all about looks, either. I want some intellectual stimulation. You had better be able to give that man a “mental orgasm”
Confidence is sexy as hell and it is so underrated. There is nothing like having a sexy swagger and knowing how to carry your sexy. The dating game is bullshit and the games are just a way of hiding. Be true to yourself and say what you want. Most people won’t do that because of the fear of rejection…and that pendulum swings both ways! Great post Reina!
I know you know I’m not checking for the next chick and changing me? When I’m already so fabulous? NEVER!
“How you get him is how you keep him” <~~ I keep that in mind always and it's never failed me. Where I lose them is when the crazy rears its ugly head… gotta learn to tame the crazies a little more. Or find a dude who will overlook it HA!